Pillar of strength , strong willed , liberated , head strong ,dominating , persuasive, forceful these are some of the adjectives which we associate with the empowered women of today ….this is how we define strong women and relate to them , isn’t it ?…… someone with a strong will power , who is independent enough to take their own decisions ,and rightly so …In the world of today to stand by a male with all his bags and baggage’s of ego pride and manliness , one has to have these qualities ….. and more.
But I don’t believe in generalizing or categorizing us females. We are all like those different flowers that are a part of a beautiful arrangement. Different fragrance, look and personality and together we make that amazing bouquet of womanhood. Each and every one of us has been through a journey- similar yet different; we have had our own share of experiences and our own stories to tell…..
Well here is mine ……My take on what makes me a strong woman ……and there are two sides to it. What I thought was my strength and the realization as to what actually being strong is.
Let’s go back a few years – the years when I believed in myself with full force – When I loved myself for being an epitome of strength. I was a perfect daughter in law, a loving wife and a caring mother. I aced at multi-tasking. I kept awarding myself perfect point and imaginary medals and trophies for it all….. I was just so happy living in euphoria, in my perfect world ….till I had a break down. The perfect world shattered and I was left standing in front of the mirror staring at a complete stranger with blank eyes and a shattered soul. When and how did I do this to myself I had no idea.
During that time I went through different phases, one of them and most important one was realizing the definition of strength. My endurance power , my ability to make supreme sacrifices , my control over my emotion , the way I bottled up all my feeling and to carry on working in sickness – in general my stoicism…..did this make me strong ? No, definitely not. It turned me into a robot bot. I was no longer an individual; In fact I was not even a human being…The soul inside me was slowly dying a painful death and I had not an iota of hint about it.
So now was the time to change – first step of this whole new life was to love myself ….. It was, what you could say a baby step but in fact it was a giant leap. “ I Love Myself “ I started by repeating this short sentence, to me, every day. Said it to myself again and again and again, till I started to feel it, accept it and experience that love with a smile. With this acceptance of love came the understanding that my strength is in my ability to say No…. my ability to let go and cry , expressing my emotions, venting my feeling is what makes me strong . That my actual strength lies in self-care ……. Self-care is not being selfish. Saying No does not make you a bad person – letting others take advantage of you does.
Listen to the silent screams of your soul …… nobody else has the power to do that for you. All the compliments of the world , all the thank you and the gratitude of others is of no use if your soul is not thanking you for treating it right .You are here on earth for a purpose that is to do good karma. But neglecting yourself for that is the worst sin ever. A soul’s first duty is towards itself …. Once you start to love yourself you get to see things very clearly and that is true empowerment.
With this empowerment came new understanding, I was no longer mad at those who hurt me. I kind of started seeing the bigger picture. Those souls were placed in my life to make sure I don’t stray from the path of righteousness. Every time I was hurt, I prayed for strength – I prayed – period – I connected with Divine. These souls were instrumental in helping me surrender to Divine. Had my life been simple and smooth with no hurdles maybe I would see no need to beg for Divine protection. The entire Purpose of my birth would have been lost. With each experience came a lesson, a new learning. So I started to focus more on these lessons and less on the pain. Now I was getting an insight into the game plan and now it was time to forgive and be thankful …..Not forget, as history has a habit of repeating itself.
Being resilient is good but best would be to never allow anyone else to let you fall. Give way to all your emotions, understand your wants first then analyses and improve on it. Do what makes you happy and don’t worry about hurting others in that process because a good soul will never be happy harming others. A good soul will not allow that to happen. Pay attention to your small needs, take a break, and relax without feeling guilty about it, demand love and care when you need it and mother of all learn to say NO to anything that makes you unhappy, find a way to do it gently and politely, sugar quote it, find an alternative but do not continue to sacrifice yourself day after day.
An empty bowl has nothing to offer …full yourself with love and then overflow to others ….. Self-respect and Dignity are the key words, maintain it. Wear your crown for you deserve it and do not let anyone make you think otherwise.
Love yourself girl and stay “Gorgeous Hamesha”.
PS- All of you must be wondering what is this two blue ticks …..In what’s app when we message someone it shows two ticks …message sent……but once those ticks turn blue it means message passed and received as well …..Hope this note is a “Two blue ticks” for you too …..